October has been a difficult month for me ever since my father passed away. It’s the month leading to his death anniversary that makes his absence even more felt. I celebrate the fact that he’s no longer bedridden, and trapped in his painful body anymore but there’s never been a day that goes by without me feeling his loss and really missing him.
When I hold my own hand, I am reminded of those days when I held his hand while he lay on the bed. I regret the many unspoken words. I’ve always been better expressing myself in writing or art. Somehow, verbally saying “I love you” isn’t something practiced in our family because of our culture being different,…more conservative maybe. In family, you will see the love through actions, not so much in words. However that is changing with the next generation.
If you’re currently grieving the loss of your your loved one, I wish I can say that there’s a quick remedy to take the pain away. The pain and void will always be there but the intensity might lessen in time. Then without warning, it comes back like the crashing wave for no absolute reason. However, as followers of Christ, we have the hope of seeing our loved ones again when we’re reunited in heaven. My father has always reminded us that while death is a painful separation, we ought to remember that he is waiting for us in heaven. To me, that is consolation. That I will see him again. Every day is one day closer to the day of our reunion.
Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:8 NLT)